|
When
I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made
you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number
of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows,
I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger
at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then
you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.
My housebreaking took a little longer than expected,
because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that
together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in
bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams,
and I believed that life could not be an y more perfect.
We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides,
stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice
cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long
naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end
of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on
your career, and more time searching for a human mate.
I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks
and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions,
and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you
fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog
person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried
to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because
you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement.
I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled,
and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried
that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished
to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted
to love them, but I became a prisoner of love." As
they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung
to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked
fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me
kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and
their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent
-- and I would've defended them with my life if need
be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their
worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for
the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others
asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo
of me from your wallet and told them stories about me.
These past few years, you just answered "yes" and
changed the subject. I had gone from being "your
dog" to "just
a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my
behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another
city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment
that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision
for your family," but there was a time when I was
your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until
we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs
and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the
paperwork and said "I
know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged
and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities
facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar
as he screamed, "No, Daddy! Please don't let them
take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons
you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty,
about love and responsibility, and about respect for
all life.
You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes,
and politely refused to take my collar and leash with
you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably
knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no
attempt to find me another good home. They shook their
heads and asked "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their
busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I
lost my appetite days ago.
At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to
the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your
mind -- that this was all a bad dream.. or I hoped it
would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might
save me.
When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking
for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own
fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard
her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day,
and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate
room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table
and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart
pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there
was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had
run out of days.
As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The
burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know
that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently
placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down
her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to
comfort you so many years ago.
She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein.
As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through
my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes
and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because
she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm
so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained
it was her job to make sure I went to a better place,
where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or
have to fend for myself --a place of love and light so
very different from this earthly place. And with my last
bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump
of my tail that my "How could you?" was
not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved
Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and
wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue
to show you so much loyalty.
By Jim Willis, 2001
If "How Could You?" brought tears
to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote
it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions
of formerly "owned" pets who die each year
in American and Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is welcome
to distribute the essay for a noncommercial purpose,
as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright
notice. Please use it to help educate, on your websites,
in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin
boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet
to the family is an important one for life, that animals
deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another
appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility
and any local humane society or
animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and
that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop
the killing, and encourage all spay and neuter campaigns
in order to prevent unwanted animals.
I currently volunteer at Albuquerque Animal Services Division on
the Eastside and Westside. Please, when looking for
a great companion, look there first! And as always,
if you want a Good Dog give me a call, my first consult
with an adopted dog from the shelter is free! (proof
of adoption required)
505-898-1050
Mention you saw them on our site!
|